Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
