I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
