i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
