It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
