i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
