She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
