your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize