A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize