That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize
