Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
