So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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