Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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