I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you would pick up someone in the library
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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