the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize