I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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