i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
