Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize