dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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