What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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