just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
