I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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