I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
