PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
