great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
