Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
