waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize