My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
