i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
