You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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