My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
