You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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