happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
