i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
