VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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