New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No subtext here. People are naked.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
