After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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