So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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