How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
