Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
