she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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