Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
