what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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