you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize