he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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