there were more penises there than on chat roulette
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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