at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
