i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize