i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
did i walk over a car last night?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
