this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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