he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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