I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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