Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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