She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize