Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
