I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
