Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize