We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
