But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
