a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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