no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
