so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
