well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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