We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize