She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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