Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
