Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
