Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
