dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
