i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize