my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
