I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
